Friday, July 31, 2009 4:12 AM
just change my blogskin days ago. tot this blogskin would best describe how am i feeling... haix.. hving so much trouble this few days, hv been bothering over love again.. tot of gg malaysia for a vacation then can attend my relative wedding too.. too bad a pig is nv early when waking up haha. too shagg and thus din manage to leave auntie! but nvm.. i shall go back when its New Year ha. though the angbao money was super pathetic.. but better than nth ha. i hope i can faster grow older! so i can skip the process of hving BGR and get married ha. like this i wont get hurt or hurt anyone anymore. ha but its only a WISH. i hope i cn lost part of memory too. i wish i cn only rem Dar and some good frens... just frens.. and by the time i wake upo from coma i alr 24 liao. can married liao ha. but only way to lost memory is to get car bang ah. like tat my face so will kanna bang sia. damn dangerous haha. kk am so crap ha! argh!! i hope ppl will be dating me out like mad.. so i no need to stay over and wonder my mind.. even some tiko pek ask me out i also go out sia hahaha. maybe i should look for some night time job too.. just came back from Cisco. went there to roughly understand my job scope.. wa. the files is super lots and hard to find de la. think one day i cn lie in hospital liao cause my back is aching even for the first trail day man! damn shit. but the pay is soso and the ppl there are quite nice. so overall should be nt bad la haha. gonna go prepare soon.. meeting dar after her waxing haha.. she's super cute to call me and laugh and cry over the phone haha. to share the pain-ness with her haha. i glad she meet me...recently have been listening to Fang Sheng... dunno why, i guess its how he's thinking since the day i started to ruin his life.. guess he really needs to be alone and i really need to stop stalking him ha. i guess am super scary to him ba. he made me remind that i once love a guy with my whole heart.. and that the longest guy i ever had. tat why am super crazy over him ba. even though he doesnt like me. reject me. but he's still a very nice guy. at least he care for u. made sure u will be safe. talk to u again and again without giving u attitude. those small actions of his can show how ti tie he's gonna be... u cn know how sweet he cn be to his gf. how devoted he is to his ex. to his RS. he's like everyone ideal guy.. thus i dun deserve him. wat do i hv to fight with others gals over him ha. or maybe he's just waiting for his mrs right. no idea how to stop my misses for him. how to stop my chong dong of not finding him. how to get him away from my thoughts. should i or should i not give up on this special him. its the 2nd time tat i found some1 i love. but am nt as lucky this time round. he's gt no reason to be with me too.. i wish i cn more understanding and lovable ha. just no mood in stepping into rs.. its like a karma gg round and round. and guess its the best punishment for me for brking others heart when they are nice to me. but guess this blow is enough to cover ever single one i hurt. i nv wanted some1 so badly... how silly it is to think tat there might be hope if i continue to jian chi. but like he said. love can nv be force and like is dff from love. i really need to occupy my mind every min, every sec. imisshim